Bummer...

I feel so alone right now. I am just... unhappy with my life. I won't be able to come home for Christmas, which makes this Christmas the first Christmas that I'm not going to be able to spend with my family. I am also sick (just cough and sore throat though). The uncomfortable feeling I've had during the past few days made me realize how pathetic my life is. I am alone in this world. I may have friends, but I only get to talk to them once in a while. I just can't ask them to accomodate me since they also have their own stuff to worry about. When I'm sad, I don't have someone to lean on. And when I'm happy, I also don't have someone who I can share my happiness with and understand my happiness. I know I know, I'm turning into a baby. But sometimes we just need to air out all our insecurities. Wow, this feels like the bridging days again.

I just want to cry. But I can't. I'm just tired of having these mood swings. One minute I'm happy, the other minute I'm sad. I just don't understand myself anymore. I can't even be coherent with my thoughts anymore. It's like there's this one huge pot of emotions deep within me that is just waiting to overflow. Here I go again with the incoherency.

I want to go home, but I can't. I have to do my FYP. Although I may have a couple of days free around Christmas, I simply don't have the money to buy me a ticket. I just miss my family. They're the only people who truly understand me. How I wish I could have the power to teleport. It would just make things easier.

Despite the loneliness that I feel, I still know that God is watching over me, guiding me in every way. Sometimes loneliness is a way for us to realize that God is always there for us and that He will never abandon us.

Finally, a teardrop falls. Maybe I just need to let it all out once in a while...